Surrendering the Worst-Case Scenario
I’ve spent a good portion of my life stuck in a loop of preparing myself to endure negative outcomes and navigate disappointment in every area of my life. It has taken me many years of inner work to stop pondering the worst-case scenario at every turn in an effort to prepare myself for the worst just in case it happens. I developed this stress response as a protective mechanism to make sure that I would always be ready to handle whatever life throws at me. I’ve come to realize that the core issue that motivates this behavior is my fear of the unknown. This fear has been gripping me as long as I can remember, causing intense anxiety over everything in my life that is outside of my control. I’ve always had very big emotions and intense feelings of disappointment when things don’t go the way I hoped, so this coping mechanism of imagining the worst possible outcome developed to cushion these feelings and to give me a sense of safety in an uncertain world.
I’ve come to realize that all the time I’ve spent agonizing over the worst possible outcome has been hindering my sense of peace and causing crippling anxiety and rumination that pulls me away from my center and my sense of personal power. I’ve spent so long preparing for the worst that I forgot what it feels like to believe that the best possible outcome might really exist for me. I used to tell myself that I had to prepare for the worst just in case it happened, and that if it didn’t happen I would be relieved in the end. Unfortunately, my anxiety and fear over this horrifying imaginary outcome takes away from the relief and joy that occurs when something turns out well for me. I’m never able to appreciate the good moments because I’ve spent so much time ruminating over all the ways it could go wrong.
As I consider the connection between this habit and my fear of the unknown, I can see that worrying about what might happen doesn’t actually prepare me for the crushing feeling of disappointment when it occurs. An attempt to cushion the blow doesn’t always make it easier to recover after it hits. I always thought that the pain would be less intense if I braced for impact, but I can see now that it just makes the pain last longer. Inversely, whenever I have a good outcome despite my fears, I’m not able to fully enjoy it because I’ve spent so much time winding myself up over nothing. Preparing for the worst also robs me of the opportunity to surrender and trust that whatever outcome occurs is for my highest good. Sometimes there’s a big difference between the outcome we desire and the outcome that’s truly in our best interest.
According to the law of allowing, the best possible outcome is always happening for us whether we’re able to see it that way or not. We are often blinded by our desires and our plans for life that we discount the grand design of our existence. We’re not able to see the whole path from a bird’s-eye view through our human perspective, so we have no idea why things happen the way they do and we can’t always conceptualize why something was in our best interest because we don’t have all of the information. This is where trust and surrender become incredibly important to facilitate ease and flow in our experience despite the ups and downs of life. Even if the worst-case scenario happens, it’s occurring for a purpose that we don’t fully understand at the time. If we can begin to see that even the negative parts of our story are necessary for our soul’s journey in some way, we can untether ourselves from tirelessly attempting to will our desires into existence.
As I free myself from this pursuit of preemptive damage control, I am able to step into the unknown with an open heart and faith that I’m being guided somewhere wonderful even if the road is fraught with difficulties and disappointments. I’m also becoming more aware of my own strength, power, and resilience to overcome any unexpected negative outcomes or big emotions that come my way. I’ve been stuck between preparing for the worst and being cautiously optimistic for too long, and I’ve decided that it’s time for me to trust my path more deeply than I’ve ever been able to before. There’s really no need for pessimism or optimism anymore in my life. I choose to stay grounded in neutrality, the present moment, and my faith that everything really is going according to plan. I might not know the plan and I might not be able to see the entire path, but I have the wherewithal to continue putting one foot in front of the other and I’m strong enough to make it to the end of my journey, wherever it leads. If you’re receiving this message today, please know that you’re strong enough to handle whatever comes your way and then some, and you can also summon the courage to surrender your fear of the unknown and trust the path ahead as it unfolds before you.