The Storms of Life
Where are the storms of life leading us? I’ve had a lot of time to think about that concept after my recent tornado experience that occurred on June 18th. I feel like so much has unfolded in my personal lift since that event, and this situation shifted me profoundly in an instant. It felt like the tornado picked me up and carried me into the next level of my life. The gateway to my leveling up was surrender, and the stakes had to be extreme to facilitate this shift inside of myself. I had to surrender everything to the divine in that moment in order to continue on my path, including my home. I had to find a way to remain centered and calm despite the tornado sirens and the trees falling all around me.
When I looked outside and saw that the tornado was in my yard, I knew that it could threaten my life. I stood alone in the center of my little house, and I was well aware that it could be the last time. In that moment, a wave of inner knowing swept over my entire being, and I was certain that I would survive this disaster. I didn’t know if my house would be standing, if my cats would be okay, or if I would be injured, and I honestly didn’t have a lot of time to consider the possibilities. I had almost no time to act, and I spent those moments as wisely as possible. I prayed over my home, my body, and my cats. I stood bravely in full surrender and trust in the divine, and I asked to be spared. After I finished my prayers, I sat in gratitude for my protection and for the energetic support that I could feel surrounding me. While I waited for the storm to pass from my bathtub, I called my mom to tell her that I love her. After several minutes, she told me that the storm had moved to the East, and I gathered myself to assess the damage. Before I got out of the tub, I tapped in to listen to my spirit guides, and all I could hear was cheering in my head. My guides said, “Congratulations, you’ve cheated death again.” In that moment I said one final prayer, “Please don’t tell me how many more times that’s going to happen!”
Having a near-death experience is often glamorized because some people are able to remember what heaven looks and feels like after the fact. I’ve had a few so far, and that has never been my experience. I wholeheartedly believe in heaven, but I’ve never been close enough to see it for myself. My brushes with death have all been in conscious human moments where I’m called to face my fears and believe that I will be safe no matter what it looks like outside. I might not have been given a glimpse of heaven, but each event has brought me closer to God than the last. It almost feels like the world pauses to allow me to have a private conversation with my creator in that moment. I’m grateful for these times because they remind me how small I really am, and that seeking control over my life is a futile endeavor. Each time, I’m asked to reevaluate the level of trust that I’m capable of holding in my body, and I’m challenged to step more fully into surrender. I am always reminded that if I can let go and trust, I’ll be allowed to keep going on my path no matter what happens.
My spirit guides love telling me that I’m supposed to be here for a very long time, and most often that’s enough to keep my fears at bay. Whenever something scary is happening and I ask them if I’ll be alright, they show me the same image. They show me of the first time I saw my future self in a vision, and I see her face. I’m not sure exactly how old I am at that point, but I have silver hair all over, and I’ve clearly weathered every storm that’s risen to meet me. When I first saw myself as an elderly woman, I misidentified her as a spirit guide and called her “the old shaman woman” for months. After realizing that the image was my future self, my guides have continually reminded me during crises that she’s alive and well in my future. I’m beginning to realize that each crisis arrives to introduce me to the next version of myself, and eventually I will meet that final self in the mirror. The wisest version of me who has prevailed despite everything that stood in her way. I know that she can see the beauty in all of the difficulties along her path because she can see how they shaped her life. I get closer to her every day that I choose to take steady steps in spite of any obstacles that appear.
This storm reminded me that my worldly problems are temporary annoyances, and I will always find a way through them. It also reminded me that I’m here to fulfill a purpose, and I won’t be gone until it has come to its fruition. This experience has shown me the beauty of difficulty and what it means to overcome fear when it counts the most. It has also given me a question that I’ve been pondering for weeks. What comes after the storm once you’ve landed in the next phase of your existence? So far, the only answer I’ve found is the next chapter. We don’t get to see where we’re going in this life, and I think there’s beauty in that even if it comes with a dose of frustration. We get to know one thing. We have a purpose here on this planet, and we’ll be here until it’s fulfilled. I’m learning to find more comfort in that truth every day, and I hope it gives you solace as well.