Soothing Emotional Reactivity
Emotional reactivity is something that I’ve personally struggled with for my entire life, and recently I’ve come to the realization that solving this issue has benefited every area of my life. For me, this extreme emotional reactivity came from a place of nervous system dysregulation, living in survival mode, the absence of patience, and the lack of useful coping skills to manage my volatile emotions. Without the proper tools, our emotions can become overwhelming for our nervous systems quite easily. If we are never taught emotional regulation in childhood, this problem perpetuates into adulthood leaving us feeling as if we are incapable of dealing with stress in the real world. Emotional immaturity is crippling as an adult because it seems impossible to remain calm and centered in our daily lives.
Stress is a normal part of existence that we all must endure, but it can easily get out of control and become overwhelming, which can greatly impact our quality of life. When we are feeling dysregulated, our emotions can seem much more intense and thus much harder to manage. I find that slowing down and finding ways to recenter my energy can help me to bear the brunt of these negative emotions without escalating the situation and pushing myself into a meltdown. I’m now in the habit of offering myself a few minutes to pause and digest my stressful situation before taking any action. Taking a moment can prevent reactionary behaviors that might worsen the circumstances or inhibit my ability to regulate my emotions in a healthy way.
The most pivotal part of this process is allowing yourself to feel your emotions fully and finding a way to soothe yourself amid the chaos. If an emotion is overwhelming you, allow it to wash over you for a few minutes while you do some deep breathing. You might like to go outside ground yourself in nature or enjoy a short walk. Connection of any kind is essential for feeling our pain and letting it pass, so you might like to talk to someone who makes you feel safe or ask a loved one for a hug. If you’re by yourself, you can connect inwardly with your own energy, or you might like to connect with a tree or a rock. Everything in our world has consciousness, so connection is not limited to human interaction. Sometimes I need connection with others to experience co-regulation, and other times I need to be alone to process what I’m feeling to the fullest extent.
There is no one size fits all approach for emotional regulation, but there are many strategies that might work for you if you feel so inclined. I highly recommend talk therapy with a qualified practitioner because that has been extremely helpful for me on my journey. A therapist can hear the details of your circumstances and your preferences to give you specific suggestions tailored to your needs. There are also lots of helpful resources available online that discuss strategies for emotional regulation and increasing your emotional maturity and resilience. These tools have completely changed my life and the way I look at the world. This process has allowed me to reclaim my energetic sovereignty in many ways because I no longer allow every little thing to cause an emotional response in my body.
I still get triggered these days, but I have so many ways to bring myself back to center efficiently. I feel much stronger in my daily life because I’m able to move forward without allowing my emotions to send me into a downward spiral. I feel more in control of my experience, but I’m not desperately trying to control myself and my emotions in order to achieve that state of mind. I allow my emotions to occur and move through me, and I find myself back in a calm and centered place after they’ve left. We don’t have to become our emotions in order to feel them, and we don’t have to allow them to take over. Feeling them in the moment allows us to truly be free, and this prevents them from settling into our bodies causing imbalance and disease. Our emotional body is intrinsically connected to our physical body, and it can impact our health outcomes positively or negatively. We get to decide how this plays out in real-time with every breath we take and every action we choose.