If life is a performance, who are we performing for?
When I was in high school, I had an amazing vocal coach who was a retired music teacher. One of her favorite sayings was, “Life is a performance.” As a teenage girl and also as a Leo, I took this saying to heart and I put it into practice. It resonated with me deeply because I had always felt like I had to act my way through life to be accepted and cherished by others. I rarely showed the vulnerable parts of myself to anyone, and often when I did, I got burned for it emotionally in some way. A person would treat me poorly, and I would instantly regret being vulnerable with them. I would blame myself for letting someone get close enough to hurt me. (See a future post about how to heal our way through trust issues). I would often find myself disappointed with reality, and it seemed easier and ultimately safer to pretend in public and be myself in private. So, if life is a performance, who are we performing for?
After you answer that question for yourself, I would challenge you to look deeper into your motives, and ask why. If you find yourself behaving a certain way for the benefit of others on a regular basis, you might discover that you’re living your life so that it will look good on display. Personally, I don’t want to live on a stage, behind a podium, on a pedestal, or in a glass box for people to observe my every move. I made a conscious decision during my healing journey to stop living my life to please others. This has been extremely challenging at times because I have a heart for people, and I would absolutely do anything for my loved ones. I had to learn that there’s a difference between loving people and fulfilling roles that aren’t yours to fulfill. Performing for others in this way is a choice that often leads to disappointment because we are responsible for our own fulfillment. If we spend our time and effort creating a life that looks good on the outside, we might not have enough time leftover to make it feel good on the inside.
There is a lot more happiness to be found by shifting your mindset back to yourself and making improvements to your life that help you to enjoy it more. The more time you spend doing things you love, the less time you have to sit around and consider how everyone else feels about it. Our society has put all of us on a stage, and social media is like a newfangled spotlight that’s way brighter than it should be. You have the power to decide when you want to exit stage left, and you don’t have to take any commentary from the audience, no matter where they’re sitting. I would also invite you to remember something when you’re viewing performances from everyone you know… It’s all an act. A lot of times the factors that set people apart are funding, make-up, camera angles, creative writing, set design, and other illusions that don’t really matter. We’re all guilty of this, myself included.
Love yourself enough to limit your screen time, start performing for yourself above all others, and remember that you’re so much more than the character you’re playing for the rest of the world. Appreciate your true self along with all of the flaws that you hide from view, and find a few people who really love and cherish you. Those are the people you should invite to view your actual story. The one that includes all of the mess, shame, and insecurity. The people who are meant to be in your life would do anything to be there, and the ones causing a disturbance should be asked to leave before the next act. If life gives you an angry crowd when you step into the light as your true self, throw the tomatoes back and build your own stage. The ones who are meant for you will show up.